| my, my, my... |
[Jul. 31st, 2005|09:06 am] |
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Things sure have changed lately. I'm not sure if it's for the better, but things sure have changed for me. Ambivalent might be the word for it. Fear, terror and discomfort are closer to the target, though. |
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| Some things change... |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|12:18 am] |
But many more remain the same. Here come the profundities!
No, in all seriousness, sometimes it's good to hear that people are doing ok.
Also, changes of scenery are nice. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|04:31 pm] |
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Stuck in neutral today. I'm coming to realise that the last 6 months of my life have been pretty inconsequential. I think I'm ok with that. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2005|07:01 pm] |
If there was one thing I could change about myself, it would be my tendency to just try and wait problems out. It causes so many more. Just get up and do something about it...though I have to admit, when it works (and it does, more often than it should) it's a great feeling to not have undertaken an unnecessary task.
But still, I need to get that under control. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|06:51 pm] |
I'm mature enough to not rail against commercially produced non-holidays. Quite frankly I don't care about this one in particular. If you only love someone enough to go out of your way for them once a year, well, there are other issues involved.
I read an account of a tourist in North Korea today, and it sounds absolutely fascinating. I might have a new place to put on my "to visit" list. It will be creepy, for sure, but definitely an experience, something that people who go "backpacking across Europe" would never experience. I had never cared about Korea, or almost any areas in Asia until today. There are the ethical issues involved in going to a place like North Korea and supporting such a regime, but governments already do that, and isolating the entire country is a-ok with them, so I don't really see a positive or negative side to things.
And while I don't fancy myself as hardcore, I wouldn't consider South Korea the same, even if I were to go to the DMZ and Panmunjong, which I've probably spelled incorrectly. I want the full monty, constant propaganda and all.
But getting a money source first would probably help. |
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| d'oh... |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|09:34 pm] |
I admit that I like to read other people's livejournals anonymously sometimes. It's so disappointing when they go all "Friends Only" or just delete their journals. I mean, if you just want your friends to know what's up, just call your friends. Or send an email.
I would never say that I felt like I knew these people at all, but other people and their lives are very interesting to hear about. Much, much, MUCH better than TV. Reading someone else's LJ is like getting a 30 second episode of a truly reality-based TV show. Like I said, I never knew them (and really have little or no interest in ever doing so), but I can sort of build-up their personality based on their writing.
Maybe it's that aspect that disturbs people. People, when they're writing freely, come off as very different than who they try desperately to be. I guess that's frightening for them or something.
Of course, maybe there are just gimps who go around harassing people based on their livejournals. Probably not, though. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2005|10:29 pm] |
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So much effort, so much failure. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 2nd, 2004|09:03 am] |
I'm sure it's been several months since I've posted. No real reason, except to maintain anonymity. Any bouts of temporary insanity I may have had at the end of March have long since past. I'm in employment purgatory right now. And since I'm making about 5.91/hour I can't afford for this to last 10 000 years. Or 1000 years. Or whatever it was.
When I first got here, I thought the people were better than the people where I left. Having travelled a bit since then I realise how obnoxious people here really are. Makes me wonder if the people where I originally started were so bad. Either way, my time here is limited, and there's a pretty well defined window of escape, come hell or high water.
No motivation, no desire to get any either. I think I've earned myself a few weeks of slackery, though.
I've found that the internet has begun to bore me. Maybe it's time I move on from it. It's been good to me, but things must come to an end. Question is, what do I replace it with? Books? Music? Weightlifting? Ninja training? Maybe some volunteer work. I can't imagine wanting to help any of the people around here, but I can suck it up, I think.
Parting thought: it really irritates me when people cite what music they're listening to in their lj or blog and the name of the song or artist is wrong and they obviously looked up and downloaded the file based on the chorus or something. GG Allin's name does not contain an "e" and Jane's Addiction never had a song called "Coming Down the Mountain". |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2004|08:21 pm] |
So I'm not taking a my day off tomorrow. Rather I'm shifting it to Friday and taking Monday off. I think I work entirely too hard and should cash in. Or whatever. I'm glad to be taking the time off.
I'll get to hang out with some indie rock kids next weekend. Hopefully that'll be ok. Those types bother me. Well, they can sometimes. I was that kid whose hair was too long and greasy and geeky and awkward and, if I remember my teenage years correctly, it wasn't very cool or cute. More like a perpetual Pathetic Geek Story. Whatever, I'm going and will be on my best behaviour. The main reason for this excursion is not for me and I have to keep that in mind. Plus the other factors in my keeping my mouth shut and/or pleasant. It won't be hard. Lots of adventures. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 17th, 2004|10:30 pm] |
The profundity with which people post in their live journals astounds me. I admit that both I and the trivial life I lead influence no one else, nor should it. I am not caught up in the Cult of the Self.
I am not a delicate unique snowflake. And neither are you. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 18th, 2004|08:08 pm] |
There is a certain contentedness one feels when there are no exams on the horizon, nor were there ever.
I wonder if anyone ever reads my email. Certainly no one replies to it. Which for the most part is ok, except when I specifically ask for information or pose questions which aren't dealth with.
The beginning of the rest of my life is almost starting, and I have several things I want to get into. Or get back into. We'll see how this goes. I have a few months to really figure out what sort of non-work stuff I want to pursue. Up until now I kind of feel like my life is sort of a waste. No, that's too bleak. It just feels like I could do more with it. And I'm sure some profound guy once said that that's the measure of an unsuccessful life. But it will change. It's like a quote I heard from an ex-convict about serving jail time: "Just keep your head on the inside. You can't survive if you don't." Funny, this paragraph started with such enthusiasm and optimism. I AM looking forward to finishing, definitely. |
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| Subject: (optional) |
[Apr. 1st, 2004|09:31 pm] |
I need to find a job in Switzerland. This sounds daunting and probably will be. Surely there's some rich kids school that I could teach at there. Or something. If it happens it'll be really exciting, though; I'd like to take some time before or after my work term starts/ends to go around to some places in Europe. And then come back and appreciate NA.
My brief (but admittedly intense) yearning for complication has passed, I think. This week has reminded me why I had generated the scenarios the way I did. Of course, it would make job searching in, oh, I dunno...CH a lot easier a task. I suppose I should genuinely attempt to solidify the second language and maybe attempt at least reading proficiency in the third. The latter is very iffy, though I would no doubt have a willing teacher. The former should be easier, provided I can keep up any sort of motivation.
I think I'm going to take off all four days that are coming my way. Speaking of a lack of motivation, I just can't be bothered with any of that anymore. Hm. See Paragraph 2, Sentence 1. There we are then. |
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| #2 |
[Mar. 27th, 2004|11:47 pm] |
My "Subject"s need to become more original.
I'm thinking about prolonging my misery. I can't really say why; at this time last week I was quite content to be done with it all. But this week I was forced to reconsider. There are many options, of course, but none are quick and easy. And this decision cannot be made in isolation which makes it a fair bit more difficult. I'm trying to remain true to the general philosophy of the situation and not try to extinguish too many dreams while maximizing opportunities. This is all very cryptic and the first half sounds like I'm thinking about killing myself; it's not that dramatic, believe me. It does require more thought and outside opinions, though. I don't know who I'm addressing all of this to, since [by design] no one reads this.
And last night I had a dream about a squirrel. |
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| #1 |
[Mar. 25th, 2004|09:06 pm] |
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I saw an albino Asian man today. Also, a whole lot of non-albino Asians. |
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| #0 |
[Mar. 19th, 2004|11:03 pm] |
I don't know why I'm starting this; the vast majority of things like this I've read have disgusted me with how self-absorbed people are.
I really had much more to say before I started playing with colours and my icon, though the latter does look good. My venom is being recycled for another day. |
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le_miserable's journal